We are treating relationships nowadays with intelligence and logic over feelings and emotions. All people want to be with someone who understands and values them. But how challenging can it be of getting into a relationship and enjoy these things?
The coronavirus pandemic changed the way we think about relationships. Social distancing and the fear of getting the virus make us think twice when we meet someone; these limitations and thoughts might constrain our desire to have a partner by our side.
It is tough to be alone and not talking to someone that can truly understand you. We need physical interactions, friends to talk to, and freedom, but many of these needs were taken from us lately.
To fight against distancing and physical interaction, now we use social networks and mobile applications. We need to be careful with these technologies as they might create addiction. Use them wisely and try not to unveil all the information about you.
“To get the full value of joy, you must have someone to divide it with.” –Mark Twain.
Relationships cause so much stress, but they’re also our most influential teachers for growth.
We need to realize that on the spiritual plan, we’re all one, but on the physical plan, we are separate. We have different bodies and unique minds. Many of us live and act on the physical plan where there’s a separated me and you.
The first level of relationships is to lead them on the physical plan. It is essential to cope with the reality that others won’t act the way we want them to or how we would act. When we start getting relationship skills, we discover that what you want isn’t always what they want.
The way you communicate seems okay with you, but your partner may not feel comfortable with your style because you both see the world through different lenses.
When we think about relationships nowadays, we want people to behave the way we want. If they deviate from the behavior we expect, we believe they are bad, wrong, and hurtful. A relationship nowadays is much more comfortable if there are commonalities like religion, interests, areas of origin, philosophical viewpoints, etc.
The more commonalities, the more peaceful a relationship is likely to be. All these things are important because we’re not constantly butting up against differences. We feel most relaxed with what we know. When we’re with people who aren’t familiar to us, we tend to feel less comfortable.
Accepting another person and embracing differences is one of the things that makes relationships so challenging.
In this era, we want everything instantly. It’s the consequence brought about by the technological revolution. Computers can come up with answers to our difficulties at the speed of light.
We are so familiar with getting what we want immediately. However, relationships don’t always work that way. Relationships and love usually always need a lot of time and nurturing. There is nothing instant about creating a solid and loving relationship nowadays with someone.
People these days are just far too pretentious to settle; they are just far too competitive and afraid of establishing roots anywhere out of fear of being left behind. The problem with that is that relationships are always going to need a certain sense of domesticity.
We live in a society where people appreciate logic and reason over feelings and emotions. And that can be a great thing when it comes to certain aspects of life. But with relationships, it’s a recipe for disaster.
“Sometimes two people have to fall apart to realize how much they need to fall back together.” – Anonymous.
According to a study published by Pew Research Center, nearly half of the U.S. adults say dating has gotten harder for most people in the last ten years. This study analyzed many particularities of how relationships nowadays work.
“Most daters say their dating lives aren’t going well, and it’s difficult to find people to date.”
% of daters saying that, overall, things in their dating life are going…
- Not too/ not at all well
- Very/fairly well
% of daters saying they have found it ___ to find people to date in the past year
- Very/somewhat difficult
- Very/somewhat easy
Note: “Daters” are those who are not married, living with a partner, or in a committed romantic relationship and have indicated that right now they are looking for: a committed romantic relationship only, casual dates. Survey of U.S. adults conducted Oct.16-28, 2019.
In 2019, when PW Research Center made the study, 67% of daters said that things in their dating life are not going well. Image how this percentage changed in 2020 when the pandemic occurred. We don’t know with certainty how COVID19 altered the way things are going into a relationship, but we can assume that this percentage changed considerable up or down.
According to this survey, 75% of daters said it is very difficult to find people to date with. This percentage makes us think the following:
- People are very selective, and they are looking for someone with specific qualities. The physical and emotional attraction may play an important role.
- People may not have the means to meet someone.
Because of all restrictions that happened in 2020 (social distancing, quarantine, lockdown), many people were/are skeptical about meeting someone due to the fear of getting the virus (COVID19).
Overall, 47% of Americans say dating nowadays is more challenging than ten years ago, 19% say it’s more accessible, and 33% say it’s about the same.
“Most single people don’t feel a lot of pressure to find a partner.”
% of single adults saying they feel ___ pressure to be in a committed relationship for each of the following sources
- Family members
Note: “Single daters” are those who are not married, living with a partner, or in a committed romantic relationship.
Source: Survey of U.S. Adults conducted Oct. 16-28, 2019.
Most single people said they do not feel a lot of pressure to find a partner from their family, friends, and society.
Feeling pressure to be in a long-term relationship is highly dependent on age. For example, younger singles feel much more pressure for each source.
Almost two in ten (22%) say they feel at least some pressure from friends, while 31% say the same about family, and 37% say they feel society is pressuring them.
When daters said they feel some pressure to find a partner, they refer mostly to society 26%. This result shows us how important the society is when it comes to relationships.
Even if relationships nowadays are so challenging, we don’t have to give up on what we desire. It may be a fight with ups and downs, but you have to endure and move forward because one day, you will forget all you’ve been through once you find love.
“Don’t change so people will like you. Be yourself and the right people will love the real you.” – Anonymous